Who Would Have Thought?
It wasn't what I had thought it would be like. Not that I had any way of
knowing. There were numerous stories and accounts that seem larger than life.
Super real, superior, super natural. Heck, it all seemed so ordinary to me.
Well, it did have a bit of unusualness about it. But even that was quite common
in my reality. Except how ordinary it seemed; now that was unusual.
I had done lots of research. And lots of experiments. I
even considered folk tales and hearsay accounts. It was my job to be sure that I
had all the right steps and procedures. I needed a way to be sure, of knowing
that I had succeeded. Being a scientist, even a small error was unacceptable.
Even a hint of an error would compromise my life's work. If there was anything
about me, it was that I was thorough.
Of course the biggest challenge is determining a way to
measure success. Setting goals was easy; even attaining them was easy. Unless,
the goals were so clearly defined that even a possibility would need
consideration. Most goals come in Meta form, you know, like having kids, or
getting married, or becoming wealthy. Some goals are much more specific, like
getting released from prison on such and such a day based upon the sentence. Or
paying the electric bill by such and such a date. But I have long wondered if
these were even successful, after all they did the experience cause fulfillment
or did the consciousness willfully act. It's not difficult to see why measuring
success is so important to me. Things happen, and I wanted to know why. And
knowing why, I wanted to be sure why I knew why.
Can you imagine how I must have felt? Ordinary, as
ordinary as the rising sun or falling rain, or talking humans. Being so ordinary
caused me incredible disbelief and no end of grief. Surely there was an error in
my measurements, or my criteria for success was too broad or non-deterministic.
I have always hated doing subjective analysis. Too many variables and
interactions between them. Even worse was the act of measurement changed the
state of the measured. Recursion at its absolute. Holographic fractals spinning
off to infinity, each trail, a valid path full of individual yet self-same
representations. It got real ugly when those trails intersected and superimposed
themselves. Mingling in some arcane and indeterminable morass of possibilities.
Whew, having said all that I wonder if I can proceed and
not get lost in the detail. Detail is where it's at, of course. At the macro
level flowers bloom and consciousness become self-aware. At the quantum level
both are doing the same thing. The rules and methods that cause a flower to
bloom are using the exact same stuff that another set of rules and methods use
to cause a consciousness to become self aware. The devil has always been in the
detail. And explaining anything to anyone was impossible or so it seems. Heck, I
have a hard time explaining things to myself. And I can't seem to recall what
shade of blue my own eyes are. Thank god for mirrors. Funny thing mirrors.
Somehow they manage to convey a sense of reality without having any content of
their own. Well, really good mirrors that is. Most mirrors color the sense of
reality with their own imperfections and aberrations. Not that those can't be
fun and useful. Even enlightening. Everyone knows how many realities, cultures,
and societies have managed perfectly well with smoke and mirrors. Seems everyone
knows its only perception that counts or matters, the rest is just possibility,
the very basis of existence. At least perceptions are real what ever that means.
After all, how could anyone deny or question a perception? Consciousness is just
that. A perception. An idea that manifests without source. Well, I suppose it
does have some possibility of existing like everything else. However, I am
inclined to believe that it (consciousness) is an artifact of existence. One
step or more removed from actual reality. A side effect of the neurological
activity of the brain, expressed in electromagnetic waves. Your basic chemical
reaction that, well, becomes self-aware. That although quite ordinary was
none-the-less crucial to understanding communication. Not talking like humans
are apt to do. Nor exactly like polished and refined mathematical proofs. A sort
of combination of those. Now you see why my measurements were so important. It
was easier to be duped than to know the truth. Truth, a funny word itself,
implies non-truth, which seems impossible. Well, you know what I mean if you've
read this far. Trying to measure something that may not exist with tools that
have only the potential to exist made for a most interesting challenge.
By now I've written a lot of words and god only knows if
there's a story in it. Unless of course I consider my own perception. Which as
noted above is everything. You know, maybe ordinary is exactly why. Many a
journey, or search, or path discovers the obvious. But then, that may be the
effect of the measurement changing the measured to fit. Reality is and always
will be such stuff. Instantly molded and plied into whatever perception dictates
or is it perceives. Ah, so much in being and perceive. Twins in so many ways yet
alien to each other. Opposite ends of a continuum. A sort of place where
something might matter. In the dance of duality these two reign sovereign. Their
interaction and harmony complex and rich. Incredible fountains of domain power
and material manifestation. Indeed life would not exist with out them. There of
course are many pairs in duality. Hot and cold, good and bad, light and dark.
Continuums each. Yet, origins, just one of the pair. The forward, outward petals
of the continuums pushed onto shape by the power of perception. Heat, Light,
Good, Perceiving, forming the flower of existence and its awe full beauty from
within a single mind. Ordinary is rather incredible. But still just ordinary. It
is rather amazing what can be done with just a possibility even if just
Well, it seems I've filled two pages of dense drivel about
perception and being. Common facts and knowledge that even children understand
as their existence demonstrates. They wouldn't exist otherwise. Unless of
course, through some 'magic' the effort of two together can create (from a
possibility) a perception that is self-aware.
So in this world of mirrors and echoes, paths and abysses the ordinary is
spectacular. Virtually unimaginable and yet built from just a possibility and
perception. The human organism tuned and polished like all other living forms.
Accidentally and unknowingly transcended in the act of being ordinary. And
despite all the stories of this awe some and incredible gift. The consciousness
of most humans incapable of comprehending, merely exist, not realizing that each
are god. Some so wanting to realize but seemly failing, develop beliefs that
others, more human, more god, more superior have realized, attained nirvana,
found God, touched eternity. Their lives shaped by the myriad and diverse
beliefs congregate in great numbers to avow and affirm their loyalty and to
celebrate the glory of those who have come before and no longer ordinary.
Opinions are scary things; they can control perceptions and reinforce consensual
reality. Quickening and solidifying, causing shelter and foundation for ideas
and metaphors that ensure a continuation of their perceptual whims and fancy.
Little is sacred in the mind. It knows no sorrow or pain. It seeks to
communicate but finds that others do not know how it feels or how/why it thinks.
Perhaps because it doesn't feel and can only think of itself. That would be too
simple. Somehow in transcending, the human consciousness bound itself to a
possibility and now must either excise the appendage or create some plausible
story for existence that fits the perceptions that define the reality of today,
this moment, this instant. And pray to some God/Rule/Method that its right. At
least once a week :)
If you have ever asked yourself, "is there a
God?", in doing so, you have assured yourself, that upon 'finding' God,
you'd have no way of knowing. Unless you have answered the question your self.
And know that without you there would be no reality for you to perceive. And
being you is something only you can do. Unless you have found an other with whom
you can communicate and realize that you don't have to know the color of your
own eyes, if you know the color of an other's eyes. Mutually and completely
doing the most ordinary thing imaginable. Communicating.
We all have opinions and perceptions. We all dance with
being and perceiving and share our rules and methods. We all partake this great
feast called life and revel in our accomplishments and creations. We can see
into the vastness and probe possibilities and super imposed states. Some like us
practice an ancient and hallowed method and use the rules of logic and math. We
understand the vastness and miniscule as part of us. Finding only perception
serving the feast of life. Seeking a possibility of communication amid the noise
of so many minds thinking no one can hear or feel them. As they perceive
themselves to be.
I'm satisfied with my existence, being here as a guest, a
visitor, some one who wants to observe and know, to wonder and realize what
being human is all about. I imagine the same is true for you. After all what
else is there to do if you are human or in a human form.
I never imagined writing this paper, this perception of mine. I'll have to read
it before I can comment as to its quality and style. Ideas just flow into
keystrokes on my computer. Lots of typos and transpositioned characters and
sometimes out right misspellings (but I spelled that right). I began this
wondering why Christ and Budda, Einstein and Escher, Mohammed and Tao, and all
the others who had something they tried to communicate but few understood. Or
was it that everybody got it but didn't want anyone else to know because it felt
so ordinary. My method is not to teach nor help nor shelter. Rather it is to
dance with perceiving and being communicating without perception, knowing
everything is as it should be. And everyone is exactly where they are supposed
to be. And that nothing matters except you and me.
I am not sure what to do with this yet, I'll print it and
read it first.
I'll be right back :)
I fixed a few words and syntax. Nothing else to say. Getting tired and sleepy.
A tirade follows and probably should not be read :)
I know, some of you think/know you are here to help humans. How absurd.
Transcended beings do not need help. And what of you, superior in some way, some
knowledge, some truth. Given enough time, superior becomes ordinary, truth
becomes obvious, and knowledge/utilization becomes commonplace. As any human
knows. One does not help god. Nor does one teach god. Absurd to even contemplate
these. Unless of course one's definition of god is, well, less than human. Or
maybe the opinions of the day need fixing and reckoning. Perceptions all a
kilter and misery the color of the day. Is it that you can feel and hear their
cries of individual choice. Or that perhaps as parents of some creation that
formed though accidents of being.