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Like every dream it had its moments and then...


It was long ago, as are most moments, lost in the passage of time. A journey to some where, a place not important but headed there all the same. I might want to say I am changed but then so are you. The only remaining thread is wrapped around the middle. Bound to forever without a direction in mind. I never knew memories before. All my youth lost in some swirling bit of energy. Even when I knew there seemed little value in memories. When more than half of your life doesn't exist, it is hard to imagine what would be worth remembering. That was then when I was so much younger. Even the now seems enough to fill the moments without memories to impede the flow.


In that dream I knew you. We sat near one another, our hands touching and the electricity jiggled our cells and brought thoughts to our brains. In a cascade of energy, the field washed, the moment frozen, as our lips were about to touch, a disturbance pulled us apart. Another Elizabeth was cleaning the place and we had to move. You went before me. I tried to follow but lost my way. As I journeyed along, I came across a church, a service was in progress. Clearly I could the path but it would have disrupted the service. I went to another door into an area of preparation. The folks there were kind but knew of only one other door which led to the back of the church. The stairs lead to a platform full of objects used in the worship/service. As I tried to navigate the stuff, a priest/minister came through the other door in that room. He motioned me to go back as the objects could not be moved.


I went back to the church and though the far off door I could see you in the bedroom of my parents. I could not just walk there as the service was still in progress. I left the church and began to wander around looking for another way. The journey took me through gardens and forests, through fields of planted crops, through worlds of science and technology. As I considered going back to the church I thought there must be another way. I pressed on and determined to do so until I either died or found you again.


I tried every door I came across and followed every path I found. Some led to the church, others led to more doors and halls. I wondered why you were so far away and why I wondered why. After what seemed forever, I found myself back at the church, the service still going on, the platform still full of artifacts, and the priest still there telling me there was no other way to reach you. I stood at the back of the church and looked into your eyes through the reality that separated us. As I longed to be with you again, the service grew louder and filled the interior with the smoke of incense. You became faint and more difficult to see. I thought I heard you calling me but perhaps it was just the sounds of the service playing tricks on me.


I began to walk into the service only to find myself held back by those who touched me and held onto my form. I could feel the life draining through me into them. I struggled to move forward and despite their grasp I moved steadily inch by inch. They soon had me held above their heads pulling me back. Would all my life be such, a struggle that would end with out resolution? I tried to turn and look to see you again. You were still there I could see your eyes and fell in love all over again but could not move. As I looked I saw there was another with you. I felt devastated and despair. Was this the end of the way? I wanted to cry but there were no tears. The life in me had been drained, the memories of once were gone. I struggled but without you it seemed futile.


That was the dream of you and me. It was sad and held a horror. I looked one last time. You smiled and looked into my eyes as I looked into yours. Your hand in the hand of the other who sat next to you on the bed. I would never reach you again, I would never know your touch again. I would forever be consumed by this service, this thing called life. As I was about to turn away, the other turned to look at me, to see who/what it was that filled your eyes. He was bold and striking so much younger than me. For just a moment his eyes met mine and I knew who he was. As I took my last breath I realized, I had finally found the other, the me I had lost all those years ago and he was there with the only love I ever knew. There was a sense of completion and joy in knowing that. As I drifted off, I found myself next to you once more, determined to never part the way again.



 
 

 

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