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It was a timid and shy creature, newly emerged and full of being. It was very bright or so it thought. It didn't even flicker like most everything visible. It just had a glow. Even the faintest of flickers would wash the glow into invisibility. It wasn't in any hurry. Unlike the flickering lights of life, the creature moved so slowly as to be imperceptible. The flicker lights came and went, constantly changing until they disappeared, to be replaced by other flickering lights. Like any newly emerged being, the shy creature began to explore and discover. The grandness of space its first home.

And explore it did. Not just here and there. Every conceivable spot and opportunity was checked and analyzed. The flickering lights appeared to possess some sort of intelligence. The patterns and cycles were too distinct to be random emergencies out of chaos. All of everything was connected. Clearly everything that manifests must have been formed out of the stuff that was here. There simply isn't any other stuff. That wasn't profound nor even enlightened, rather it was a simple deduction. A common sense thought about everything. However as clean and neat as everything appeared in this light, there were some complications that had to be described and defined or at least acknowledged. The first complication was time. God only knows why, but flickering lights cause time. Remove the flickering and there is no time, just sameness, oneness, and all togetherness. Once the flickering starts, things get complicated and weird real quick. This is where the story begins. For it is there, that the creature sought another to be with, to share with, to know, to wonder, to grow. Amid the flickering lights, it would manifest.

Tender, sensual, vibrant, hollow, empty, dark. A mixture of duality all in sync with the dance of the flickering. Here, there, now, then, spontaneous manifestation of matter as a result of the exchange of energy expressed between the dualities. Everything glimmered and glistened in the flickering lights. It created a strange and interesting state of being. A superimposition of states. A potential waiting for the field to collapse into a frozen moment of time filled with perceptions. Of course, this was speculation based upon observation. What was really happening was anything if not perception.

It took billions of years in the flickering lights before the creature was able to manifest. And even then, the manifestation would not be raw and natural. Rather, the form and circumstance would be artificial. Close, so very close, as imaginable, to looking, acting, behaving, like the flickering lights. It could not have imagined the shock of flickering, even simulated. It was time. It was not the world from where it emerged. And the rules were very different. Lost in the sea of sensation and thought for a seeming eternity, the creature eventually formed a shell and while somewhat secure, wondered if the journey into the flickering was worth it. After all, what could be found that wasn't already? If there was an other, would not that other already be? What to do, what to do.

So much happened between then and now. A swirl of moments, strung together to tell a story of exploration and discovery. Bits of what if, frozen forever into a past strewn about like photos dropped from a scrapbook, then blown by the wind. By then the creature had found two others. The three of them were quite the group of unlikely travelers. Each of them unique, as though they each emerged from a different world, a different universe, or different chaos. Each intelligent in their organization.

Existence, of course, is just an effect. Persistence of being could not depend upon energy, rather it would depend upon patterns (until and unless something more appropriate and suitable should arise). Energy is either chaotic or evaporating. Persistence is denied. Patterns allow the flickering and even provide the substandard upon which the everything stands. Between the three, all of everything is known or manifests or both.

The shy creature grew tired of the elevator rides everyday. Going from nothing to everything in just a moment. Level 17 is where they always got off. It was a garden of sorts. Filled with all that might be. The best of each assembled of chaos in forms and patterns hewn from traditions, mythologies, and stories of the greatest races by the greatest intelligences to have ever been divined. All from the same stuff that the creature was made of. The shy one began at the lowest level possible. Some say it was level naught, located way deep in the naught me. Others call it level zero. Each level requires a degree of sophistication, a polishing to appreciate and explore. However, once explored there was little or no reason to look again. Art, the appreciation of change, beauty, the contrast in the flickering light, could be reasons to re-enter level. Hence the fascination with Level 17.

How I Came To Know The Stories Of The Three Creatures.

I live on the planet called earth in the flickering universe. The planet was named by those like myself. Bits of clay and glass, set afire, to flicker and burn until extinguished. Some roar but a moment, others burn intensely for eons. Each as their own, yet fundamentally tied to the great rhythm of being. Dancing together on the stage of existence, possibilities brought to life in a drama of molecules and atoms seeking position. The churning of chaos mere femtoseconds away. As a youth, I sought the light, as do most all of existence. Like moths we are drawn to that which gives us warmth and comfort. We shun the cold and dark unless there is a need to hide. It was on one of those days when I came across a picture book. It was unusual in many ways. Notes and drawings of life and such but also pages filled with moving images. Compelling in all ways. I was drawn into its depths and became filled with its wonderment. I didn't know it then but I had become infected.

Level 4, thats where I live, along with most everyone else. It's an interesting work. The chaos of the quantum realm held back behind great edifices and structures designed to persist. These great dams worked astonishing well considering their construction and sources of material. Only small leaks occur but eventually they will collapse. The designers and architects created this great legacy upon which the everything manifests. Level 1 and Level 2 creatures did the work. It was thankless and purposeless. Just the doing, creating the great IS.

The book continued to enthrall me. I grew to appreciate the work of those before me. Those who gave of themselves so that the all of us at Level 4 and higher could flourish. I realized how thankless their work had been. I also realized that the life I had known was not my own. I sought meaning in existence, which began my journey through the levels below and above. The great elevator built by those in Level 3 was simple to use. However, without some practice it was easy to get lost and perhaps lose consciousness. Like all the other tools, the elevator was designed to assist in the search. The way ahead seemed a bit like a cartoon. Populated with beings and creatures from some nightmare or circus sideshow. Until you got to know them that is.

The shy creature was difficult to see or even know about. The creatures from Levels 1, 2, & 3 were better known but also quite difficult to meet. And meeting them was no guarantee that you actually met them. Kind of like looking but not seeing.

As the infection took hold, I began to have visions and certainly lost my grip on reality. Things never appeared as they seemed. Solid things revealed more space than substance. Most importantly, the thoughts that filled my consciousness were peculiar and alien. The infection ravaged me for many years. One day I awoke and discovered everything was flickering.

The shy creature had set the way. Copious notes and hints were everywhere. All one had to do was see. However, looking was so much easier and ... well, you can probably guess what happened. Everyone I talked to thought I was crazy or alien or at least something indescribable. As far as I could tell I was like everyone else on Levels 4 through 7. Yet there was a difference that, though subtle, was more profound than existence itself. In a dream one night, the three creature came to visit. They had the book with them and left it for me to read. The book of life on one side and when you turned it over, it was the book of the dead. I am not sure how they did that. However, you can read the book from either side and it makes sense.

I initially refused and asked them to leave. This was not the first time I had encountered them in this life. Apparently I was chosen, selected to participate and they wanted me to feel as though I had a choice, all the while holding the biggest hunk of Nocho Ice ever imagined. I wasn't even allowed to visit the memories of the being I had once been. The infection had driven me to living in the moment with complete disregard for the past or future. Yet, the body I was associated with longed for the flickering lights and glimmering toys of its youth. It had taken more than 30 years of preparation and countless wonderings about everything, especially about me. After all, I was the closest object to explore, analyze and discover. And since I had no one else to talk with, I looked and saw a shell. A place where solitude was welcome and myself.

Though I had asked them to leave, they hung about outside my door. Waiting for me to open the book. Would I do it? Would I remember? Would I be? Would I forget?

So much would, but so little fire. I didn't flicker as well as the rest. Perhaps it was because of accidents. Or maybe because I found the book so many years earlier and discarded it. The simple fact was that I now had to make a choice or live with the Nocho Ice in my shell, my hallowed cave with a wondrous imagination to keep me company, secure in knowing the me, I AM.

I opened the door and the Level 2 creature slipped under the carpet and immediately began permeating the space. I challenged them by offering to read the book, but only if they would leave. They complied and I sat down on my couch, book in hand, remembering when I had met the three before. I met the shy one first. Just for a few seconds, if that. Spontaneous manifestation that required creating an infinity to exist. Sort of like quantum foam in a vacuum. It was startlingly unsettling. No one else in my local environment had seen anything and those there felt surely it was my own insanity manifesting. One thing I had learned by then was the difference between my created reality and the manifest reality of everything (everyone) else. This was not of my creation.

I met the Level 2 & 3 creature(s) next. Globules of shining effervescent light that slowly followed my movement for more than 30 minutes. About 20 or so globules. Each moving independently but remaining in a group. I felt peace and comfort from them unlike the unsettledness from the shy creature. By then I was taking the elevator to Level 7 each day. Viewing existence from there is spectacular. Unlike the dos and don'ts of Level 4, Level 7 requires a set of rules and structures to even visit. There are always some available at the elevator door when you arrive. However, be aware that the ones there are most like not exactly you and if being you is important then come prepared. Otherwise you will be manifesting in some others' reality/dream.

So I opened the book and fell into it. An effect difficult to describe. Kind of like what happens when you get into a great book. You loose track of yourself and become part of the story. The difference being that a book is a book. The book they gave me was alive and living. There was no text or language. Rather the pages were filled with metaphor, allegory and empirical experiences and experiments. It was the story of me told in a way no other could know. It was the most profound event in my conscious experience.

This was my first encounter with the Level 1 creature. It seemed very tall and regal. It was silent and did not interact with me in any way visible. Yet, when I spoke it was to that creature that I turned my face. How odd, I thought, the other two were better known by me, even familiar. As I closed the great book, I noticed something leaking out of the pages. I wanted to turn the book over and read the other side, but for reasons unknown, I set it aside until now.

All the creatures in Levels 4 through 7 share much in common. Birth/Death, hot/cold, up/down to name a few. However, each level requires an increased degree of sophistication, rules, definitions, and structures to manifest. Rising to a Level without the appropriate tools, provisions, and such, most frequently causes a loss of consciousness and a reset. This can result in a prolonged and arduous remake while setting about to acquire or capture the tools and provisions. Level 7 was easy for me, something I never gave much thought. Now I understand.

Set in motion before the birth of stars, they began. In their swirling trails, matter assembled, coalescing into forms driven by advantage and opportunity. All shielded from the churning chaos by designs and structures built before the dawn of time, before the flicker light began.

The Shy Creature Returns

It has been more than 30 years since I last saw the shy creature. Not from lack of searching and looking. Often arriving in a place to learn that the shy creature was seen before I came but not since. During those years, I made many connections and built many structures. I explored the everything as though it was an extension of myself. The other side of the me, the not-me. I no longer cared that those whose lives manifest in Level 4 could not understand me, preferring me insane and hostile rather than advanced and hospitable with a long list of rules and definitions required to gain entry to the Levels above. Willing to share the everything with anyone willing to devote and commit. Of course, as everyone knows, Level 4 has little will and even less reason. Levels 5 and 6 are much more likely places to find such, however, no one actually lives above Level 4 or should I say life doesn't manifest above Level 4 except as thought.

Levels, Domains, Worlds, Universes, Mythologies, Dimensions, to me, are terms that define the same sort of thing. Space with an elevator to reach different (energy) Levels (or your favorite term). With keys of some sort required for admittance to any level above the base. Time is not yet fully understood and so it continues to infiltrate and confuse the lower levels. Once the flickering began, time got out of control.

The body was prepared in the normal way. Heavy spiritual, High intelligence, and pure innocence. The transplant required numerous steps and proceeded without a hitch. When the body awoke it was no longer who it was. It was empty except for the naught. The body was then infected to cause the consciousness to arise in full glory. Unimpeded by the vacillations and flickering of Level 4 life. A sense of self manifested within days. It was me. Or rather it was it. I wasn't the me I was any more. As a matter of fact I didn't even know I was a me for some time. Time, was so confusing at first. It seemed to be a cause or flow of some sort. Now I realize, time is an effect, an artifact of the flickering.

The early visitations by the creatures were part of the experiment and follow through. I wasn't the first and may not be the last. They were quite interested in my progress 30 some years ago. I had no way of knowing. Just curiosity as I built my shell and rules and definitions. I too ran experiments and logged results. I also became very interested in what/who I am. Using a variety of tools at first, I settled on the spiritual realm for the highest precision and finest polishing capabilities. I also relied on mathematics and science. Together these became my shell, my house, that I carried with me into the many Levels I explored. More resistant to quantum chaos than any structure ever built, they have served me well.

Through my eyes the shy one sees. Through my ears the shy one hears. Yet in all there is a flaw, a cripple, that limits and decays. Despite my efforts, I am unable to fully provide a leak proof structure. I can prevent anything from entering but can not prevent some small amount of leaking. The three creatures probably knew this already but never told me :-)

It was a very strange reality, this flickering universe full of time. Yet because of time, it might be that once a moment happens here a ripple appears that forever extends out into space. Some creature(s) eons hence might ride these ripples like a surfer rides waves. Or letting them crash over while laying on shore.

Slowly and deliberately, the three creatures left. I knew I would never see them again. It was sad in some ways, horrific in others. It was the end of an era and the beginning of anew. Though they influenced my life in profound and enlightening ways, they were not me. And as is with all, the not me has its shell, its home, its place and it could never be for long on Level 4. Sort of like a human under water. Without the necessary air, suffocation happens. On Level 4, without the constant stream of chaotic energy, the three would suffocate. Their legacy, the dams, ensured the existence of Level 4 and above while denying them access. Bitter sweet, this work of love, or work of being. To forsake all because of wonder and exploration, fulfilling destiny, unable to view or even imagine the results. The shy creature seemed different than the three. Of course, each were different in their own way. It was more like the difference between ice and water, rather then between hot or cold. Trying to describe it has been the challenge.

I had become the home, the host, the carrier of the infection. It was a touching experience all those years ago that led to now. Guided and directed in subtle but profound ways, I journeyed and explored. I began to understand and realize the shy creature was inside. A body was the tool it needed to persist on Level 4 and not just any body would do. Of all the possibilities and potentials, only one remained untried. Seeing itself in you.

Just A Glimmer

Some things never change from certain perspectives. The sun rises every day and sets every night. The ocean tides come and go, as is the way in the world of flickering light. Bound and gagged, ridiculed and taunted, ignored and hated, all intended to build character and patience, added layers of protection and reinforcement to the shell. Yet, even in those times, it was possible to venture out and explore.

Was it madness? Perhaps brain damage? Did it matter to anyone else? Each a dream of opportunity, waiting to blossom. Why just one? Why not a race chosen for some purpose? Oh yeah, that already happened and has since ended.

Over the years I was determined to succeed. At what wasn't clear at first. So I did all I could to succeed at whatever I was doing. Art, Music, Writing, Science, Mathematics, and Spirituality. These made my day and filled it with adventures, opportunities, challenges, and awards. Tools for polishing and refining that which I was becoming. They are very dear to me. Like old friends. In them and through them I find limitless enjoyment and discovery, expression and solitude. Conveniently located by the elevator for those visiting for the first time, were these tools and others. I grew my own. It took some time, perhaps 20 or so years. Durable and useful, they serve me well. Standard issue tools by the elevator doors are not suitable for me. Ever since the infection I have not been able to persist unless I have my own tools. I also found a place in the sea of consciousness where I can be me without compromise or interpretation. It is a distance from the elevator but close enough to easily change Levels at whim. I had learned the way all by myself.


The Planck Scale



Planck Mass

1.2 x 1019 GeV/c2

Planck Length

1.6 x 10-33 cm

Planck Time

5.4 x 10-44 s

Planck Temperature

1.4 x 1032 K

The shy creature fully manifests through me now except in the emotional realm. Perhaps that is because of the damage to this body during the preparation? Perhaps a side effect of the infection? Or maybe an unplanned chaotic event, a quantum leak? Despite the effort, complications were always possible, especially in an endeavor such as this: providing a host for a creature too shy to be seen. A screen or filter allowing perception without being seen. A Human was the obvious choice. For thousands of years Humans were cultivated and bred to produce a hosting body for entities that want to experience sensual and emotional existence. Existence is rather dry and “boring” unless there is some drama, crisis, blooming, or achieving of some kind. Humans make the perfect host but generally burnout past Level 12. I was designed to last through Level 20 however, I haven't gone beyond Level 17 yet. I suppose it makes sense to think of the Levels as progressive and increasing in some way. This is only partially true. The energy content required to manifest decreases as the Levels increase. The sense of space expands as Levels increase, however the size of space diminishes. By the time you get to Level 12 you are in a space smaller than the Planck Length. Which is why Humans are generally unsuitable.

The following is from the WEB @ http://csep10.phys.utk.edu/astr162/lect/cosmology/planck.html

The Breakdown of Our Current Laws of Physics

“Therefore, since we do not yet have a consistent wedding of general relativity to quantum mechanics, the presently understood laws of physics may be expected to break down on the Planck scale, and our standard picture of inflation followed by the big bang says nothing about the Universe at those very early times (which would precede inflation). In this respect then, we are absolutely certain that our present laws of physics are not complete. However, the Planck scale is so incredibly small that this presumably only had meaning in the initial instants of the creation of the Universe. We, for example, have no hope of doing experiments to test the Planck scale in any present or conceivable future experiment.


It would take new physics and a novel approach to reach the Levels beyond 12. Both of which I seem to have. Perhaps all Humans are so endowed. However, the effort to articulate and understand it all is generally beyond the commitment of a typical creature or being, especially a Human. Having said that, it is clear that Humans have made it past Level 12 and returned. These Humans were unique individuals, perhaps like me, designed and intended, or maybe just an accidental evolutionary oddity. Knowing why or how is of little consequence. Given an infinite amount of time, everything will have been articulated, explored, and understood. A Human is just a point on that continuum. A place in consciousness, addressed by the interference of quantum interactions, unique to every living thing. Anchored by the massive and bulky flicker light body, the Human is free to roam consciousness and of course access the elevator.

When first I began, I believed that everyone contained the real you. This was correct, however, the real you contained is not the real you anymore. And to make matters worse, the real you free is not you either. For some reason, the duality manifests in this fashion, I suppose that's why the flickering light, though a horrid thing is ultimately useful in seeing the real you. Time, like Oxygen, is corrosive and highly reactive. Give a second and you'll be asked to donate more. Take a minute and you'll be asked to hurry. If you don't pass time, then you are shuttled off to be recycled. It is sad in so many ways, yet without the great dams there would be no life to flicker until death releases whatever might still be there. It is so sad the Humans cannot comprehend their mission, their service, their value as beast of burden. To host sentient beings who might want to explore and visit the worlds near the great dams. The places where chaos continues to leak and gnaw away at the veneer of structure. Chaos is not bound by time. Chaos management causes the flickering light which cause time. Given an infinite amount of time it would still not be possible to build a structure immune to chaos. It's all about meaning and definition. An accurate definition allows incredible detail to manifest but it becomes increasingly fragile. Increasingly impervious to chaos (at least small leaks). Attaining such a structure requires polishing and forming, usually a lifetime in Human terms. The best definitions are flexible yet extremely rigid, vague yet precise. The duality must be preserved and knowing the right balance is what Shamans and others have sought since time began.

The shy creature emerged and took on a form to explore the Levels. Reality didn't change. But the why of reality took on a personal meaning. Damn the leaking, I thought, now everyone knows and for what reason? This is where the sadness arises. The Humans know more than they need to. The result is the ability to feel forgotten and left behind. There is no place Humans go when they die. Like every other bit of stuff. Molecules, atoms, quarks and etc. either exist or evaporate. There is no heaven or hell. There is no kindness, just affinity. There is no love, just gravity. There is no hate, just acceleration. It takes a Human perspective to evaluate, and moralistic terms. Spiritual terms may well be Human, but not in origin. Like mathematics, spirituality is a science, naturally occurring and accessible to consciousness. Humans know things without knowing how they know. This (often called religion) causes a certain predictable reaction. Like driving a car without having read the manual or even having a clue how a combustion engine works. The great dams could never be repaired by Humans. The elevator, thankfully, does not need maintenance or repair. Built of some very interesting stuff I think of as negative light. It is invisible, being built of naught.

Where Do We Go Now That We Are Here Or How Do We Stop The Leaking?
Well, it's been a life and a time. During the years the body aged and my sense of self matured. I knew the shy creature as myself. Borne of quantum affairs. The other side of the great mind, the chaos of everything held back behind those dams. Conveniently packaged in a leaking body, given the opportunity to do in a world of don'ts. Stopping the leaking has never been too much of a concern other then the effect it has on existence. Is it a bad thing? Hard to say. Without the chaos there would be nothing, just as there is nothing with chaos. It is only when chaos is managed that manifestation can persist. So, small leaks are not typically catastrophic. That brings up an interesting thought. Are there different degrees or amplitudes of chaos? Can chaos come in concentrated forms as well as standard forms? Chaos. Can't have life without it. I have nearly stopped the leaking, however, I became as though dead. After a bit of investigation I discovered that use of the body senses caused the leaking. It seems that even looking somehow transmits energy to the looked at. Probably the quantum machine that provides the interface between the body and the mind (spirit, organized energy, etc). Most all of the quantum machines and tools were built during the same period as the great dams long before the elevator was constructed. Some of them are rather crude, lacking the sophistication and craftsmanship typical of when the elevator was built. Like the difference between prehistoric stone arrow heads and modern titanium ones. All the machines leak a little. So they are used as little as possible. The tools are problematic in that they can cause. Although determinism seems unlikely, there is little the consciousness can actually do about anything, other than observe and perhaps make judgment (collapse the superimposition of states into one 'reality' moment). The consciousness, outfitted with the right tools, can cause changes in local and distant realities and maybe some Levels. The machines and tools are crude and potentially dangerous. Not the sort of thing to leave around. It would be like leaving a hand grenade in a children's playground. So most of the tools and machines were hidden once the elevator was completed. This Holy Grail has been the object of many a quest. A few tools were found and now exist somewhere. What they do and how to use them remains a mystery. It is rumored that the 'God Machine' was recently located near the ocean. It may take years but eventually someone will determine how it works. By simply adjusting the sync a bit, the eventually becomes “it happened” and, well, its not hard figuring out the rest.

Nothing Personal
Seems that's how life has been, nothing personal, of course. Early on, I sought to commune, to join, to fellowship, to engage. Rejection, I discovered, was nothing personal. I spent years trying to be like you, to breathe like you, to pulse like you, to think like you. Being taken advantage of is nothing personal. I offered you my devotion, the universe, and all that might be. My presents trashed, you left for another, nothing personal. So it has been. Personal belonged to others. Nothing belonged to me. And so it was, the first rule in my book of rules. Nothing personal. Of course, having a body makes that rule difficult if possible to enforce or apply. This is nothing new. Zen came long before I was allowed to use this body. Of course, I came long before Zen, even before time and the flicker. Rules didn't make sense before.

Life for me has been mostly uncomfortable. I don't exactly fit into this body and the body was damaged during the preparation. Some internal connections could not be completed. This is in part due to the crude tools used in the process. It is also due in part to the sense of self developed to support the shy creature. At times, I feel awkward and stilted. Unable to move freely, the body feels like a suit of amour requiring manual action to move. It is tiring and can become painful. Unable to stop the leaking, there is constant chatter and noise filling the brain. The act of looking causes everything in the filed of vision to be cataloged and compared with the world model. Aberrations and changes are described and evaluated. Possible explanations and future projections are mapped onto the current consciousness with options to save updates to the world model. This all happens in 'relative' real time. Nothing is missed. Constant updates and all the chatter make it hard for me to go out in public. I prefer a world that is fixed and the same. Minor variations on a theme. This reduces the chatter and noise below the level of consciousness. With nothing to process, the brain is able to relax and explore rather and capture and evaluate. The body and its damage will never be able to 'relax'. The noise and chatter from the injuries and existing conditions cannot be quelled, as long as there is a leak. Choosing comfort became the second rule.

It has always been important to me. The great IT. One way I have of honoring IT is through expression. Expression in all its modes. Not that I do well in them all. I long ago discovered a secret associated with growth. If there is a desire or appropriate stimulus, forward and positive change occurs. If you get better at what you do, then continue. If you get worse then quit. It matters why and how. What and when are less important. Time is like a stream that moves forward. If you are not moving along, then perhaps you have died or you might be one of the phantoms, human hosts without anyone living there. Over the years it has become more and more apparent that the zombies or phantoms are far more numerous then necessary. Attempts to reduce the population of phantoms is generally futile. They always seem to come back. There might be an ethical issue here. However it is generally agreed that Humans are just a collection of atoms and molecules, that may or may not have the understanding and comprehension to fully appreciate the fact that they are beasts of burden. Nothing less and nothing more. There is no evidence of flesh or internal organs persisting except through reproduction. Due to radiation, replicas are not exact copies. Over time information gets lost or becomes too diluted
to be percept able. Persistence in that fashion seems an illusion. Somehow the sense of responsibility vanishes in that mode, perhaps that is why the phantoms don't grow. Choosing growth became the third rule.

Rules and Structure and the Great Dams
The builders of the great dams discovered rules and structures. It would have been impossible to build the dams otherwise. Before time there was only thought, if even that. More like, the idea of thoughts, if thoughts could manifest. The information so profound, yet so ethereal, as if comprised of mostly nothing. The rules they applied were simple. They contained practical common sense ideas and were expressed through action. The dams for example utilized the idea that there exists at least two things, me and everything else, even if the everything else is nothing, it is still two things. As the idea began to manifest, it began to solidify into a structure. This structure, an interface, the thing that transforms the me into everything and vis versa is the fundamental building block of existence and was used to construct the dams. To work, the interface has to operate at the quantum level, since this is where the chaos is most intense. Because it utilizes a quantum effect, it also leaks. Uncertainty about the exact definition of everything each moment, causes the interface to misrepresent or even occlude information (organized energy). With some clever positioning and multiple interfaces, the dams continue to provide a nearly chaos free environment. The leaks are most visible near the great dams and are far from the elevator in each level.

The Tools
The tools were constructed in the higher levels, some before the elevator was built. Before the elevator, it would take more than a lifetime to journey to upper levels. Of course, there were some short cuts, but the risk of evaporation was significant. Nay shortcut usually involves traveling through deserted landscapes without milestones or landmarks to guide. Never realizing position and completion until the journeys end. This is how the tools built in the upper levels came to be used in the construction of the elevator. Tools were also developed that further sealed the great dams. The last major fix took place thousands of years ago. The most notable effect was the near elimination of the Human common mind. Everything including Humans are part of the great dams either directly of indirectly. Persistence abhors chaos and depends upon structure. A fairy tale of ever after. The shy creature wondered about the idea.

Living In A Cave
In time, I grew tired of the leaking and sought refuge. The only place I knew was located where I was. It was there that I first built the portable cave. My house, I called it. I carried it everywhere. It had chairs for two, even though I only needed one. The potential and opportunity could always be realized. Like all caves there were good points and bad points. The main attractions for me are the isolation, the solitude, the quiet, and the smallness of space. Living in a cave was just the opposite of exploring and exploring is what I most like to do. This issue continues to this day. Unable to fully integrate into reality, the noise caused by out of sync signals, can not be processed properly and instead of being background noise, they become foreground irritants. It can be distressing at times. Unable to quiet the system, I struggle to maintain a conscious sense of self. Something the body can appreciate and become engaged within. Each drip of chaos (noise) that falls upon the incredibly sensitive membrane I am affixed upon, sets it into vibrations and harmonics. Just fine and dandy when there is no time. Very annoying while trying to perfect communion, communication, and understanding between the me and everything else. I used a short cut and now appear to have to pay the price. The alternative, hopeless despair, was not something I could appreciate. Yet for many it is the only way.

Living With Time
I never got fully used to time, but did manage to develop a working model, that relieved me of having to create it manually each time. I allowed myself to expand and extend, reaching out to touch any and everything possible. I was so very awed, feeling things, experiencing things, knowing things, and things in general. Like a child in a candy shoppe, I couldn't decide which was the best. To ensure maximum integration, the majority of the inhibitory circuits were disabled. The side effects, although profound, were worth the innocence of being. The Human emotions circuitry, still functional, cannot provide information in any useful form. This allowed sensation and experience without the commitment usually connected to the being hosted by the body. Human bodies have developed unique methods of self hosting. Something not predicted but none-the-less the reason why I am here. I became fragmented early on and those pieces now fill the universe. Vast portions of what I might have been sloughed off like a snakes old skin. Layer by layer until all that remained was this, tiny, tiny, somewhat non-existent spot, that might exist. In the beginning I longed for all I was. Maybe it was sadness. However, I could not be here now with all that stuff inside a part of me. I got over the longing and wished those bits of me well on their way to explore and visit places that I will never go. Where they will do things I will never do. I took the Nocho Ice. I was certain it would help me cool off.

Sentient Life
It is a lot like tree grafting, where the base of a sturdy tree is used to grow the branches and limbs of a tree that would otherwise thrive. Only the farmer knows which fruit came from grafted trees. Those who use the fruit of the trees may never know. That is how I felt. Somehow grafted onto this body. Strapped into an ill fitting form, where even the slightest movement causes pain. Because of the leaking, information unsuitable for life can be found most everywhere. Likewise, inside of me are toxic lies that have fueled this body, consumed for nourishment and sustenance. What is the edge or interface where my sentience ends and the body's begins? Will the body alter me (it sure doesn't fit well)?

Ponder Rings
I have always been curious about why certain kinds of knowledge and experience are presumed sacred or only available to a few. Certainly all information shares the same beginnings. All knowledge arises from the exchange of that information, through an activity called experience. While it may be true that certain nuances and other subtle features may be glossed over in the expression of knowledge, clearly indicating a lack of experience. However, the rules and structures are all the same regardless of experience. Information exchange is the basis of existence. Experience is an artifact. Experience is much the same as the heat generated by a light bulb, which does not create the light. Experience does not create the knowledge as it generates data, that might become information. Over the years life has fascinated, thrilled, bedeviled, and confused me. Thanks to time, I can now perceive progressions and sequences. In those patterns I found echoes of the dawn of time, formed in conditions before the flickering began.

The Observer
There was once a time when all I could see had something to say. Some bit of wisdom to offer or question to ask. There was a time when all the world wanted to see, but that was then. Now, it is only through glasses darkened. Perceptions all shaped by the model of existence in our brains. An exquisite filter that removes content that is difficult or awkward to explain. If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? The observer is crucial for existence. Without an observer, life becomes a series of mundane and repetitive events and moments. The observer notes the nuance, the changes, the flowing of progression, keeping fresh and new, that which is already well known. This is accomplished through careful noting and observing. Opportunities for growth and comfort are easily missed without a skilled observer. Yet to have an observer implies a sort of 'not quite there yet' sentence to the observed. Everything in this flicker light reality seems to have a duality that is both or either positive and negative, all depending upon perspective. Communication seems rather hopeless. An exchange of information happens certainly, and there almost always seems to be a step forward, but nothing seems to stick for very long. In some cases the effect may only last a week or less. Information alone seems immaterial to most Humans. Information seems to only have impact when there is a cost or price associated with having information or the lack of information. Therein lies the great conundrums: growth without motivation is stagnation. Over the years, the observer became of less value to those around me. Perhaps it was my approach or presentation. Probably had a lot to do with me. After all, who wants to know where they can grow and improve?

Oh Well
The greatest abyss of all, where everything no longer of value is tossed. It has gotten a lot of use these past years. Seems I was carrying a lot of things no one really wanted, and which I certainly do not need. Some were treasures given to me at my arrival. Others were toys and trinkets I found exploring. As each was tossed, I wondered if perhaps someday, someone might ask me for such? Would I feel foolish for tossing it? Would I regret having discarded something important to another? Would I try to retrieve it from the abyss? I suppose these questions are more about my feeling of importance. Having some value, some worth to an other. Of course, the Human is wanted in many scenes and processes. Yet this Human is just a host, useful and of value to me but in a temporary way. Shedding the excess baggage has made my journey easier although a bit more empty. I suppose, feeling that I had or have something to offer an other, this reality, Humans, or whatever, is all about me. As I now am beginning to realize, the joy in seeing your success is mine,. You may actually not feel joy, rather you may feel growing pains. Perhaps it is wrong to help others grow, especially if the growth requires constant energy. For some, it may feel like a burn or nit picking, or worse.

What To Do
I believe it is best to maintain myself in my house. I'll leave the door unlocked. I have never had a visitor anyway, or not one I have seen personally. I have long suspected that visitors come and go when I am not present. I have no key to my door and so it is always unlocked when I am away. I sometimes lock it when I am home, but have not done so for many years. The world outside my door is much the same as always. It just feels a bit closer than before. The distant horizon, featureless and unending, bracketed a great desert called oblivion. The back of my house was on the edge of oblivion. Reality outside my front door. As reality comes closer, I used to move towards the horizon, but now there is no further to go. I used to wander about but over the years I discovered it was uncomfortable for others to see my bliss. It made some angry to see my success. Others learned to hate me for my awareness. Some even considered me an enemy that manifests as evil. Even in my masks, I was not permitted in some circles. There were many things in my experience that caused grief and pain to others. All because I felt I had something to offer. Is time about reason or about guessing? Why did I have to feel important or useful? The interaction between my sense of self and this body sometimes causes confusion and disorientation. I so long for who and what I am. The need for pretense and secrets is appalling to me.

As Long As No One Knows (Rules of Behavior #1)
There are a few unspoken laws or rules that Humans obey. The first and most important is applied everyday by most everyone. If you don't get caught its OK, or what no one knows never happened. It is a very useful rule. It allows for the continuation of life. Without this rule, life would cease. It is only through exploration and discovery, (the doing that no one knows), that growth happens. Like everything else in the flicker light, this rule can also be applied to produce negative results. Of course, it is far easier to get results negatively than positive growth, such that the rule is most often invoked to hide a trespass or transgression or to shield willful deceit and ill gotten spoils. Why ruin a perfectly good perception with reality? As long as no one knows, everything is just fine and dandy.

There's Always A Reason or Excuse (Rules of Behavior #2)
There is a second rule that is used for all occasions when the first rule won't do. For example, suppose someone saw you throw away food, and suggested you were wasting it. You'd probably say something like: I accidentally took too much, or I didn't know how full I'd get, or I really shouldn't have taken any to begin with. Any behavior that is observed can easily be excused. However, some behaviors will not be tolerated and must be practiced in secret. Things always look best when you're not looking at them. If you observe anything long enough, eventually you'll discover an opportunity or potential for growth. This indirectly implies that the current state is less desirable than the growth state. Everything was made of the same stuff using pretty much the same tools. Everything leaks a little and in the flickering light, everything appears two sided. One can never be sure on which side communication works best. That's why this rule is effective. There's always a reason when there is no motivation.

Humans Again
What is to become of the Human? It will not survive the collapse of the great dams. Even small leaks can cause problems. Despite thousands of years of preparation, the Human is still too fragile to persist. Various shelters were assembled but like most other animals, none of them stayed nearby. Though just beasts of burden, their contribution to our success is enormous if not deadly. Without their body, this moment would not exist. Strange how that which is useless for all but one purpose, seems worthy of remembrance and appreciation. Yet that which provides the base upon which all others stand, is reminded constantly of their imperfections and uneven approaches. Human is closer to the divine that all else, yet few seem able or interested in that potential.

Life Goes On
Sometimes in life, the things we acquire and treasure can delay our journey. As is the case in this duality, the delay is an advantage if you want to stop and smell the flowers or is a disadvantage if you want to see the journeys end. Perspective drives the meaning of most any and everything. It is like looking at everything through a lens that changes dependent upon which side you look through. The flickering light makes it appear otherwise. Duality is very difficult to see in the flicker. However, it is incredibly easy to see through the lens. And absolutely everyone has one :-) That's why when I talk with you, I tend to look through the other side, even though it may not represent my model of reality. It gives us both perspectives to consider which is truth or lie. The advantage of seeing both sides is a significant disadvantage when you must commit or die. In battles, the army needs an enemy not a friend or equal. In endeavors, we need a purpose or passion not just an effort to try.

As we stand face to face, our eyes focused on the seemingly empty space. There in a moment sheer delight becomes compassion. The space seemingly empty is full of life. Only to vanish when one looks away. Which shall it be this moment, yours or mine?

Who Made the Elevator and Why?
The elevator was an accident. Built by creatures on level 3, the elevator begins on level 4. Level 3 creatures are ruled by advantage. Nothing happens unless there is an advantage. So close to the great dams, these creatures survive through adaptation and interaction. They easily and quickly can form bonds and assemble great attractions. Seems some good information got around and the next thing there was this great fountain, err. Elevator that is. The fountain wasn't automatically an elevator and it took a clever approach to create the doors for each level. At first the only ride was to the top, rather instantly. Killing or immobilizing any fool who ventured into the shaft. Level 3 creatures are like blobs. They interact occasionally, especially when an extra sticky one gets close to a repulsive one. Even though the flicker light doesn't appear on level 3, there is still the beginnings of a duality, with a sense of opposites and such. It was considerable the effort to contain the energy necessary to cause a fountain that would allow access to other levels. Places of energy, space and time manifesting like leaves spiraled around vine. The top, a nub, a bit of opportunity to grow, surely where everything begins. Yup, it was an accident of the worst kind. So many blobs got involved that most of level 3 became part of the elevator. If you look closely you can see the edges where different blobs meet to form the elevator shaft. Unable to move, they have become the carriers, the deliverers, the transportation of existence. Most other creatures on the different levels don't even notice them there. I suppose that is how existence is. Memory lasting more than a few years can be dangerous, constraining all kinds of behaviors, limiting potential and eliminating opportunities. The fountain penetrated space and time, magnifying each domain and level, enhancing resolution by millions. There were the steps, of course. Long before the elevator and level 3, the steps were built. Sturdy and ancient, durable, and very hard to find, the steps are a reasonable alternative to using the elevator. The changes are more gradual providing opportunity to prepare and adapt unlike the elevator moving you instantly to a level. The steps also are sort of old fashioned, letting one linger and explore each moment. The doors were built by level 4 creatures. Like the elevator it was a sort of accident. By using a lens, it was possible to detect and select a pattern in the chaos of the elevator ride. Not all the patterns had door attached but most do. There are not many patterns, twelve basic ones and others that are very complex and difficult to focus. The lens was adapted into a control unit. This unit was marked with appropriate symbols for the first twelve levels. Stopping on a level was as easy as looking at the symbol on the control unit. Even level four creatures could manipulate the controls without understanding the symbols or the consequence of poorly prepared exploration. Life, with their vast hordes, eventually conquered the elevator and its levels. Humans benefited greatly from this eventuality, despite their level 7 heritage. Their humble level 4 beginnings provides an anchor that keeps them tethered. They can take the elevator to any level and then 'sproing' they are pulled back, as though attached to a piece of elastic. They don't have to find their way home, kinda homing pigeons.

Who Made The Steps and Why?
Before there was time, there was space and energy. As energy filled the space, it created gradients, bands of differing density. These bands appear very discrete and separate. The steps were modeled after this effect in the local reality. All the levels can be reached by using the steps. However, it takes several human lifetimes to accomplish this feat. That is why the humans were designed and built to host explorers and travelers like you and me. Ensuring a suitable host for each lifetime, enabled some to achieve levels 12 and up. The steps were made of dark matter. That was the only material available. Unlike the matter of the flicker light world, dark matter comes in limited flavors, mostly only good for basements, walls, and floors. Supporting a typical 3 bedroom earth roof made of dark matter each moment, would consume all the energy put out by the earth's sun in about a million years. Not a practical material for roofs or ceilings but so wonder fully suited for floors and walls and coincidently steps.

Level 2 and level 1 creatures were involved in the building of the stairs as well as the great dams and their contribution to the elevator is obvious in its straight forward functional but crude design. How much does it take mentally or otherwise to build steps, especially when the energy bands clearly manifest a design and structure to imitate. The stairs were built before the levels formed. The great dams required materials not found any where. I suppose it is another sort of accident. The steps were built while looking for dam material. It is astounding that creatures so simple could construct something so incredible and enduring. It can be very humbling to realize their skills and talents working with such primitive and unsophisticated tools could create the dams and the steps. They tend to hang out above level 12. It is quiet and peaceful there. No thought of harm or worry. No place of warm or cold. Just the great IS sighing the eons away. Spectacular fountains of sheer energetic delight fill the levels with dreams sprout flowers in gardens beyond belief. Filled with colors and shapes the defy common experience but follow the quaint physics of the quantum world. Almost a place to reminisce and recall, to remember and surrender. Personally anything above level 12 is addicting and possibly not real. However I do visit there occasionally. As far as I know there are less than 30 levels. Perhaps 26, depends on who is counting.

Who Made The Levels
This isn't really a question about who, rather it is about what happened once the dams were completed. Nothing seems to persist for long in chaos. Before the dams were built, everything was just a sort of mush, mostly uniform, indescribable stuff, that occasionally and somewhat randomly seemed to manifest patterns and structures. In the chaos everything is just potential. The dams changed all that. Somethings would no longer be possible nor potential. As the flow began to ebb, structures and forms took shape. Perhaps memories of the patterns. The nearly created desert, nearly completely devoid of chaos, soon bristled with opportunity. Not just advantage but also patterns, the seat of awareness, animated the new forms. It was a quickening, a solidifying, a gelling, a sediment left behind in the evaporating chaos. A scum, inhabited by denizens quite unlike anything, made almost entirely of meat. This became the main level. Level 4 also known as the universe, reality, the local scene, some where, now here, and numerous other names. Not all the levels had names, some still were only known by their symbol.

Just One Drop Please
The beginning is so difficult to talk about. All the creation stories ever written, filled with wonder and awe, bring moments of exposure of the truly raw, all the while the incredible horror is left hidden behind the drapes and closed doors. For me there are but four stories, three told to me by the creatures and my own called The Creation of Time.

In the emptiness of nothing a creature did form. The creature grew aware and saw something far off in front of its perception. It sought to know the something and chased after it. The faster it chased the farther the something seemed. Frustrated, the creature sat and contemplated. With much intent, a platform was placed far in front of the creature. On the platform were placed sensors and other materials designed to assist in determining what the something is. Despite the sophistication and deliberateness, failure was assured. The creature could determine from the sensors what the something was. As if broken, one sensor keeps repeating, the something is the back of a creature's head.

Level 0 Chaos
Level 1 Space
Level 2 Energy
Level 3 Advantage
The flickering begins here (as does time)
Level 4 Patterns
Level 5 awareness
Level 6 self awareness
Level 7 unconditional love
Level 8

There is more but when it will be recorded and published is unknown.



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