Completely

It was long ago that first we met. I was working in the shop as usual when you stopped outside and peered through the window. At first I didn't notice you there. I guess I was busy with my latest project, completely absorbed. When I finally looked up from my work, I saw you peering intently and realized that you had been there a while. I cleaned up a few things and opened the door, inviting you in. You seemed a bit nervous at first. But that passed quickly and soon you appeared to be quite at home. I liked that. Since I rarely had visitors, I wanted to be sure that you were comfortable and at ease. You sat in the chair by the table and I felt a bit self conscious of the bits and pieces strewn everywhere. I started to clean it up a bit but realized that I was doing it to distract myself from communicating with you.

Most of the folks in town knew me as an eccentric and perhaps a bit crazy as well. I never felt badly about that but inside I knew that I really wanted to be accepted as a member of the society. Over the years I had tried to be more normal but even those efforts just made me appear more eccentric. Eventually I resigned myself to being who/what I am and let myself feel satisfaction in being

My latest project was very exciting to me. The other folks in town seemed disinterested, so I kept myself busy working. Being alone was not new to me, it was how my whole life had been and so it was. I was very curious about why you stopped by. Maybe you were new to this town and had not yet learned/heard about me. Idle speculation I know, but it allowed my mind to examine the possibilities.

I asked your name and you responded that we had met before and that I should remember. Of course, that completely caught me off guard. 'We met before' I mumbled. 'Yes', you said, 'it was just a few years ago'. I tried to recall but nothing seemed to connect. Our eyes met and sure enough, there was something very familiar about you. I just couldn't seem to....

'Would you like something to drink or something to eat' I asked. You said 'no thank you. You have already given me more than I ever asked for'. Feeling a bit confused and perplexed about the whole thing, I asked you to please refresh my memory. Perhaps something we did together might help me remember. I felt a bit foolish and embarrassed. After all, how could I forget someone like you? And that thought brought my mind to a halt.

I looked again at you and tried very hard to remember but all that happened was the noise of my now halted mind seemed like waves crashing on a beach. I just couldn't seem to remember. A hint perhaps, or something, I begged. I did not like feeling uncomfortable and I was headed for severe discomfort caused by my poor recollection. Now, I usually have an excellent memory but this person seemed intent upon destroying any credibility I might have associated with my memory.

You looked at me, your eyes wide in disbelief that I could forget. I was sure I even saw tears forming, but you carefully wiped them away before I could be sure. Frustrated and bewildered, I returned to my project and began to work. You watched intently for a while and then said 'that part really should attach to the other end of the apparatus.' Amazingly enough, you were correct.

No one before had ever understood what I was doing and how you, a stranger, could possibly know or understand was incredible. 'OK, whoever you are, you seem to know much about me and my work. Speak to me about how and why you know.' When I turned around to listen to your reply, all I saw was the vacant chair and heard the sound of the door closing. It was going to be a very long day....

I spent the rest of the day, working on my project while my mind skipped from idea to idea, dancing in wonder and confusion. Why did you stop by and why did I want to know who you are. Some time later (I lost track of time), I found myself examining the apparatus and astounded that you knew how it was assembled. Even though I had not yet worked it out for myself. I began to wonder if I really wanted to know how you knew what I didn't. That thought closed the door on the experience and life went on as usual.

Occasionally over the years my mind would recall your visit and I would just shrug and continue my work. You were an enigma at best, a paradox at least, but mostly just confusing and frustrating.

I finished the project and began the tests. I was quite excited and although I had high expectations, I also could accept disappointing results. After all it was just something I was doing to pass the time. At first there seemed to be no effect. Even after twiddling with the controls, still no apparent effect. Perhaps I had failed to account for some unknown variable or condition. I shut the machine down and let myself drift off to sleep.

It was a lovely dream that held me. Awe some beauty and wonder. Not necessarily pretty, as the local society would define pretty. We romped in the meadow and climbed the hills. You and I were made for each other. We fit together like ocean and beach. Each might exist alone but together we made a lovely and beautiful thing. It was grand and I knew you felt the same. As we were about to reach the summit of the mountain, the rising sun awoke me from the dream. Even though it was over, I still could easily find myself back in the dream as though I had never left. So much wonder in dreaming.

I never felt alone before and now the loneliness seemed overwhelming. I so wanted you to be real and alive. I so wanted to touch you and stand by your side. I so wanted to know you, to love you, to be one. I cried. It was going to be a long year.

I held myself from loosing it entirely and began to re-think my work and my projects, just to fill time. I remembered you (the visitor) from all those years ago and felt as though you were also in my dream. Could it be somehow you both are the same? Maybe I was just getting older and had begun to experience delusions and stuff. I really didn't know and probably should have cared but I was no longer able to control my feelings and felt myself dying inside.

Time was new to me when first here I came. Before moving here I lived by a stream, my stream. Others like myself also lived beside their streams. Time confused me at first. A change in context that threatened to undo my consciousness. There had never been a beginning yet time insisted that I create one somehow. I suppose I succeeded in some ways but overall time just didn't make sense. I had to alter my consciousness to accommodate time. I'm glad I did. Time is a wonderful tool. Who knows. Might be an idea worth keeping like space was? Truly, without space I am nothing.

Then it hit me. A soft glancing blow of infinite might. Reeling, I felt myself whirled. Ground into a speck of dust. So small that an infinite number would only generate a possibility. I pulled myself together and looked about. As far as I could tell, there was me, a mountain (certainly infinite), and of course, my stream lay nearby. Ascension is such an effort sometimes. 'True' you called.

Standing there on the other side of my stream was another me. Just like me, well like I think I was, or maybe remember. Well, any way, you seemed to be as me as me. 'Hey' I called back 'want to go for a climb?' 'Why not' you said rather matter of factly. 'Great,' I said. 'Lets go'. Starting out together was better than I imagined. You took the same steps I did. Not that life is ever the same.

It was grand to dance together becoming strands of DNA entwined in embrace together in unbridled glory ascending as one amid the chaos of reality. This is wondrous and awe some. I let you drive the 'car'. Heck, I had done it already anyway. 'Slow down' I said 'lets enjoy the moment'. Happily you'd comply and then off again we'd go. It was quite surreal to me in many ways like a memory at times, but always a great story filled with exciting exploration, and awesome discoveries. We had started to slow down. The ascent becoming steeper. Until finally we had to walk, barely discernable from the background, exploring consciousness and matter. We had traveled as one this far yet I felt this fear of becoming separated. What if you are not really as me and we thought...

We reached the milepost well marked. I placed it there long ago. Seems I spent a lot of time here after getting blown away while experimenting with my apparatus. Well it was nice to be back in some ways. We stopped when you asked about this place. It is the garden. 'A wondrous garden full of awe' I said. 'I call it hue man.' A world of color and conscious light. I spoke about the other places I knew so well in this place. And about the apparatus that could be built that could open the gate through which our stream of ascension does go. You were excited, as I had been so many times before. Oh, by the way, time has a way of getting in the way in this space. It's a hell of a thing to get integrated, I said, and you were sure there would be no problem, after all, I am confident and you are wise, it will be easy. And so we began.

Sure enough we got separated. Not totally but we certainly no longer traveled together as we had before. We now were individuals sharing DNA and archetypes. Ideas and philosophies however were served up like soup du'jour. Our deep communication became fragmented and infrequent for long periods of time. At first I was concerned and tried to teach you but it did not help. Instead I choose to let you do as you will. A choice to be choice-less in our embrace. It wasn't easy to let you live alone. But it seemed that was your way. Of course we followed the same stream. And although you may wander much like I did, I know you'll find me here as I have always been, since the beginning. I know you don't remember. Heck, how could you, especially after walking into the light. I know I lost the stream more than once but always managed to find my way back. And I knew you would as well. It was grand this time; even time seemed not to matter to me as much as before. I guess I am used to it. You seemed to be doing just fine as well. It puzzled me a bit. It certainly wasn't the hell I remembered. And to think of what I told you about this thing called time. I was so very sorry and felt alone in my crime.

The apparatus was nearing completion. You did so well on its construction. A labor of love as it must be. An offering to life and all eternity. We got over our differences eventually and devoted our lives to finishing the apparatus. It seemed to pass quickly, this time. I liked it, maybe even loved it. I certainly loved you, my other one. We had been together since the beginning and although you may not remember, I think you know it all the same. .

You looked at me and tried very hard to remember but all that happened was the noise of your now halted mind seemed like waves crashing on a beach. I know you just can't seem to remember. A hint perhaps, or something you begged. I know you didn't like feeling uncomfortable and you were headed for severe discomfort caused by your poor recollection. Now, you usually have an excellent memory but I am intent upon destroying any credibility you might have associated with your memory.

I looked at you, my eyes wide in disbelief that you could forget. You were sure you even saw tears forming, but I carefully wiped them away before you could be sure. Frustrated and bewildered, you returned to your project and began to work. After a while I said 'that part really should attach to the other end of the apparatus.' I got up from the chair and went out the door. By the time the door closed the gate had opened. Together we stood and gazed upon the valley and the seemingly infinite number of mountains, then noticed the elevator shaft that only had an up button. Thanks for coming with me, it's a lot more fun. And sorry about the story of Hell way back then.



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